Saturday, 14 February 2009

Microsoft doublespeak

Microsoft bounty for worm creator (BBC News, Friday, 13 February 2009)

The software giant is offering the cash reward because it views the Conficker worm as a criminal attack.

A similar fallacious reasoning underlies the claim "Guns don't kill people, people do", as often used by the NRA.

"People who write this malware have to be held accountable," said George Stathakopulos, of Microsoft's Trustworthy Computing Group.

Who holds Microsoft accountable for their crappy software? If some dunce decides to use Vista in his company and productivity suffers because of one of Microsoft's bugs, can he claim damages? (Needless to say: of course not!)

He told BBC News the company was "not prepared to sit back and let this kind of activity go unchecked".

Then make sure there are no more blatant security leaks in your software, you morons!

"Our message is very clear - whoever wrote this caused significant pain to our customers and we are sending a message that we will do everything we can to help with your arrest," said Mr Stathakopulos.

Microsoft causes significant pain to its customers.

The Conficker worm is a self-replicating program that takes advantage of networks or computers that have not kept up to date with Windows security patches.

The Conficker worm is a self-replicating program that takes advantage of Windows.

In 2003 Microsoft created its reward programme with $5m (£3.4m) in funding to help law enforcement agencies bring computer virus and worm authors to justice.

Is there any money left for quality assurance? Does Microsoft do quality assurance?

"We have not seen this type of worm or one of its class since 2004," said Mr Stathakopulos.

Computer worms were unknown to science before 2004, and had never attacked a Microsoft OS before, so they couldn't have foreseen any of this and couldn't have taken precautions earlier. Right. Pull the other one.

Bunch of incompetent wankers!

1 comment:

silly said...

It's always wonderful to see such incisive irony and sarcasm! That's what English language was made for!
Go Jimbo!